It is now 2017. As I begin my journey to recovery from my binge-eating addictions and depression, I realized one very important factor. Is that need to love me now. At first, when I decided that enough was enough and that I was going to make a change and get out of this rut, I pictured my self "skinny" again. I thought, yes, once I get there, then I'll be good. I kept seeing that as my end goal. Like this version of me wasn't enough, and the skinny future me will be so much better. Which is WRONG. I need to love me now. I need to stop being so scared to look in the mirror. I need to stop hating my stretch marks. Because those things are apart of me. And if I don't love me today, then how will I expect to be satisfied with the future "skinny" me.
Last time on my weight-lost journey, when I lost about 25 pounds in one month. I was very extreme. I completely did a 180. I became vegetarian, cut off sweets completely, and exercise twice a day. I realized that I live an extreme lifestyle. Either I was doing everything all at once, or nothing at all. Well, this time I'm practicing balance. I'm taking baby steps to recovery, physically and mentally. I want to be able to maintain the healthy life style without over doing it and give up in the future.
So yes, I decide that I like me now. I am worthy and I am beautiful.